他們在唱著你的歌

by Alan Cohen原著、蔡淑芳翻譯

When a woman in a certain African tribe knows she is pregnant, she goes out into the wilderness with a few friends and together they pray and meditate until they hear the song of the child. They recognize that every soul has its own vibration that expresses its unique flavor and purpose. When the women attune to the song, they sing it out loud. Then they return to the tribe and teach it to everyone else.

在某個非洲部落裡，當女人知道自己懷孕時，她會邀集幾個好友們到曠野去，一起 靜默沈思與祈禱，直到她們聽到屬於肚中孩子的歌。他們知道：每個靈魂有屬於它自己 的律動，代表著他自己獨特的韻味和意志。一旦這些女人們接收到這個孩子的歌的調子 ，就會大聲地唱出來，然後再回到部落去教部落裡的每一個人唱。

When the child is born, the community gathers and sings the child’s song to him or her. Later, when the child enters education, the village gathers and chants the child’s song. When the child passes through the initiation to adulthood, the people again come together and sing. At the time of marriage, the person hears his or her song.

孩子出生時，部落的人就聚在一起對孩子唱她／她自己的歌；孩子長大開始受教育 時，村人們聚集吟唱著這孩子的歌；在孩子的成人禮上，人們再度齊聚唱頌；婚禮上， 也會聽到屬於他或她的歌。

Finally, when the soul is about to pass from this world, the family and friends gather at the person’s bed, just as they did at their birth, and they sing the person to the next life.

最後，當這個靈魂要離開世界時，家人和朋友們也會聚在他／她的床邊，一如當 初迎接他／她到人間來時一樣，唱著他／她的歌，祝福他／她展開另一段生命旅程。

When I have shared this story in my lectures, a fair amount of people in the audience come to tears. There is something inside each of us that knows we have a song, and we wish those we love would recognize it and support us to sing it.

每次我在演講中分享這個故事時，總有相當多在場的朋友會落淚，在我們每個人心 深處隱約都知道我們有一首屬於自己的歌，也總期盼著我們所愛的人們能聽到並且支持 我們把它唱出來。

In some of my seminars I ask people to verbalize to a partner the one phrase they wish their parents had said to them as a child. Then the partner lovingly whispers it in their ear. This exercise goes very deep, and many significant insights start to click. How we all long to be loved, acknowledged, and accepted for who we are!

有時候，在我的課程中，我會邀請人們對場中的一個伙伴說出「希望父母曾在孩童 時代對自己說過的一句話」，然後請這位伙伴在他們的耳邊輕柔地把這句話說出來。這 樣的練習很能觸動人心，可以開啟無數的自我覺知，我們每個人都是那麼地渴望人們用 我們的樣子（因為我們是我們）來愛、重視和接納我們。

In the African tribe there is one other occasion upon which the villagers sing to the child. If at any time during his or her life, the person commits a crime or aberrant social act, the individual is called to the center of the village and the people in the community form a circle around them. Then they sing their song to them.

在這個非洲部落裡，還有一種時候，村民們也會對孩子唱他／她的歌，每當有人犯 罪或有偏差的社會行為時，犯錯的人會被叫到村子的中央，村民們則在周圍圍成一個圓 圈，然後對著犯錯的孩子們唱他們的歌。

The tribe recognizes that the correction for antisocial behavior is not punishment; it is love and the remembrance of identity. When you recognize your own song, you have no desire or need to do anything that would hurt another.

部落的人相信處罰不是矯正反社會行為的好方法，而是靠愛和喚醒自尊，祇要找回 自己的歌，人就不再想、也不再需要做會傷害他人的事了。

A friend is someone who knows your song and sings it to you when you have forgotten it. Those who love you are not fooled by mistakes you have made or dark images you hold about yourself. They remember your beauty when you feel ugly; your wholeness when you are broken; your innocence when you feel guilty; and your purpose when you are confused.

朋友是知道你的歌並在你忘記時唱給你聽的人，愛你的人們並不會被你犯的錯、或 你對自我形象的貶抑所矇騙。
你覺得你自己醜時，他們記得你的美麗；
你覺得自己支離破碎時，他們記得完好的你；
你有罪惡感時，他們記得的是你的純真；
你對人生困惑時，他們知道你的目標。

One summer when I was a teenager I went to visit my cousin and her family in Wilmington, Delaware. One afternoon she took me to the community pool, where I met a man who changed my life. Mr. Simmons talked to me for about ten minutes. It wasn’t what he said that affected me so deeply; it was how he listened to me. He asked me questions about my life, my feelings, and my interests. The unusual thing about Mr. Simmons was that he paid attention to my answers. Although I had family, friends, and teachers, this man was the only person in my world who seemed genuinely interested in what I had to say and valued me for who I was.

記得我還是青少年時的某個夏天，我去ilmington, Delaware我的表姊家玩。某個 下午，她帶我去社區游泳池，我在那裡碰到了一個改變我人生的人Simmons 先生。我們 大概有十分鐘左右的談話，關鍵不在他跟我說了什麼，而是他傾聽我的方式。他問了我 一些關於我的生活、我的感覺和興趣等方面的問題，不尋常的是他對我的回答的專注。 雖然在我的世界裡，已有家人、朋友和老師，但這個男人卻是唯一讓我覺得他從心深處 想聽我所要說的話，而且因為我是我而珍視我。

After our brief conversation I never saw him again. I probably never will. I’m sure he had no idea that he gave me the gift of a lifetime. Maybe he was one of those angels who show up for a brief mission on earth, to give someone faith, confidence, and hope when they most need it.

那次簡短談話後，我沒有再見過他，我想以後大概也不會有機會碰面了。我相信他 也不知道他給了我一份終身的禮物，或許他是為一個小任務而出現在地球的天使們之一 ，在人們最需要時，帶來了信心、信任和希望。

If you do not give your song a voice, you will feel lost, alone, and confused. If you express it, you will come to life. I have also done a workshop exercise in which everyone in the room is given a piece of paper with the name of a simple song on it, such as “Mary Had a Little Lamb” or “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star.” In the whole group there are perhaps eight different songs, and a half-dozen people have the same song named on their paper.

如果你沒有唱出自己的歌，你將會覺得失落、孤單與迷罔；祇要你唱出來，生命就 會開展。我曾在一個工作坊中，帶過一個這樣的練習：房間中的每個人都拿到一張小字 條，上面寫著一個簡單的歌名，如：瑪莉有一頭小羊、小星星等，一共有八首不同的歌 ，大概是每六個人會拿到寫著同一首歌名的字條。

Each person is then asked to mill around the room while they whistle or hum their song. When they find someone else playing the same song, they stay together until they find everyone who is singing that song. Thus they create small groups that serve as touchstones for the duration of the program. Life is very much like this exercise.

然後我請大家開始唱或啍著字條上的歌，在房間裡晃晃走走，碰到啍唱同一首歌的 人就聚在一起，直到找到每個啍唱同首歌的伙伴為止，就這樣形成了一個個小團體，也 成為他們在這個工作坊中的試金石。生命好像也就是這樣的過程！

We attract people on a similar wavelength so we can support each other to sing aloud. Sometimes we attract people who challenge us by telling us that we cannot or should not sing our song in public. Yet these people help us too, for they stimulate us to find greater courage to sing it.

我們會吸引跟我們有類似頻率的人，好讓我們彼此支持大聲唱自己的歌，有時候我 們也會碰到一些人告訴我們不該或不能在公共場所唱自己的歌的人，這些人是我們的挑 戰和助力，是他們刺激我們，讓我們有更大的勇氣唱我們的歌。

You may not have grown up in an African tribe that sings your song to you at crucial life transitions, but life is always reminding you when you are in tune with yourself and when you are not. When you feel good, what you are doing matches your song, and when you feel awful, it doesn’t. In the end, we shall all recognize our song and sing it well. You may feel a little warbly at the moment, but so have all the great singers. Just keep singing and you’ll find your way home.

你可能不是在那個人們會為你的人生重要階段唱你的歌的非洲部落長大的，但是生 命隨時都在提醒你：是否有跟自己的內在唱同調？你覺得好的時候，代表你正在做的事 跟你的歌是合一的，當你覺得一團糟時，就表示有不調。最終，我們都將知道自己的歌 並能唱得很好。你可能會覺得唱得有一點顫音，不過所有的偉大歌唱家也是這樣的。繼 續唱，就會找到你回家的路了。

（原作者曾出版你就是你，本文已取得原作者授權，譯者為開拓文教基金會
執行長，想多了解Alan Cohen的著作，請至http://www.alancohen.com/）